The Osborn is home to an extraordinary community of residents whose wisdom, wit and passions bring energy and vibrancy to campus life. At its heart, The Osborn is about the people who live here – this is their home. In this space, we invite you to look inside, to meet our residents, and to discover the stories that inspire us all.
Dr. Arlene McCoy has spent four decades helping others navigate life’s complexities as a psychotherapist, and she continues that work today. A resident of The Osborn for the past two years, Dr. McCoy still meets with patients and stays true to the deeply personal, intuitive approach that has defined her career.
Your career itself is such an inspiring story. What drives you?
Well, my practice continues to be my passion. My passion stems from a deep, innate empathy, driving me to ensure others feel supported. I experience pure joy when I connect with someone and provide the help they truly need. For me, helping people isn’t just a task but an ingrained part of my character. I find profound fulfillment and sense of purpose in alleviating the burden of others. Being involved here at The Osborn is also very meaningful, so it’s a nice, sweet combination. It keeps me engaged – and still loving life.
Talk about the ‘light’ of your life.
My dog, Lucio, which means ‘light’ in Italian. He turned 3 in April. He’s a Bolognese, a cousin to the Bichon Frise. Everyone at The Osborn loves him – he’s like a little prince here. Very, very friendly.
Let’s go back a bit. What drew you to psychotherapy, and what’s kept you committed for nearly four decades?
I think it was always part of my personality. Even in high school, friends would come to me for advice about their lives, relationships. It just felt natural.
I didn’t begin my career right away, I went to college, taught elementary school, got married and had six girls (“amazing women”) and then went back for my graduate degrees. I started at a Center in Stamford, Conn., and after a few years ventured out on my own into private practice. Forty years later, here I am.
What’s kept the work so meaningful for you?
People. People who are hurting. People who simply need someone to talk to. I also stayed with it because I believed I was good at it, and I was fortunate to be recognized for that. But more than anything, it’s the comfort I find in helping others. It keeps me connected to the world in a very real way.
You’ve described your work as a ‘sacred privilege.’ Please explain.
In a private session, when a patient is truly honest and speaking from the heart – that’s sacred. Almost every session has those moments, when someone shares something deeply personal that they haven’t shared with anyone else. To be trusted with that, to be invited into that space, into someone’s heart and soul, is a privilege. And that trust must be honored.
How do you see AI impacting your field?
It can be helpful as a starting point. If a patient comes to me after using AI, it can open the door to deeper conversation about what they’re feeling or struggling with. But I don’t believe it replaces therapy. From what I’ve seen so far, it’s not the answer to people’s needs in the same way a real human connection is. I don’t think it will put therapists out of business.
After a lifetime of listening, guiding and supporting, what have you learned about resilience and living a meaningful life?
Oh, that could take days to answer. Every session teaches me something. After each one, I reflect – what did I learn? Even if something was uncomfortable, I explore it. What did I feel? It’s incredibly rewarding to be part of someone’s journey, to watch them try to understand themselves, to heal, to grow. I had a very difficult teenage patient years ago. Just last year, he called me at 40 years old. He said, ‘I was thinking of you. Are you still practicing?’ Hearing that he was doing well … that meant everything.
Do you think society today is more open about mental health?
Yes, very much so. When I started, there was a strong stigma. That’s gone. Now, it’s almost the opposite – people talk openly about their therapists. That’s a very good thing.
What advice would you give to therapists just starting out?
Be a good listener. When you’re new, it’s easy to rely on questions and fill the space with conversation instead of truly listening. Silence can feel uncomfortable – but it’s important.
Let’s talk about life outside of work. What do you enjoy doing?
I stay connected with my friends. I love to travel. I’ve always had a sense of adventure. I didn’t realize how much I had traveled until I recently tried AI to get ideas – and I kept saying, ‘I’ve been there… and there… and there.’ So now I’m learning how to guide it a bit better.
Do you have a favorite place you’ve visited?
Italy. I love the people, the warmth. I’ve also traveled as far as Dubai and Thailand, but Italy will always be my favorite.
You’re active at The Osborn … talk about life here. And your involvement with “SPARCS”, the resident committee that collaborates with the sales team and meets with potential new residents about the community and life experiences at The Osborn.
We’re often speaking with people who are trying to decide whether this is the right place for them, and it’s a big decision. I invite them to ask questions, and I really listen. We host small gatherings and have honest conversations about life here. I always share how wonderful the staff is, and how kind and community-minded the residents are. That’s truly what defines life here for me – it’s all about the people.
Recently, I curated a Fashion Show and invited fellow residents to model with family and friends to cheer them on. It was a terrific experience and an opportunity to bring fun and enrichment into our community. What struck me most was the kindness and support the ladies had for each other, many of whom barely knew each other at the start. Watching the camaraderie among these women was incredible! It was a win-win for everyone involved. To sum it up, I would say it’s all about selflessness; a gift we give each other, a value I cherish and something that truly makes this community special!
Finally, what’s your philosophy on life?
With kindness and compassion, that’s how I live my life. I do my best to live in the moment with a sense of purpose and joy. I live my life with gratefulness for all my blessings. I live my life with an open heart and mind – and finally, I live my life with a sense of humor and pray for wisdom. That’s my philosophy of life!