Dan Mailick has logged some 900 scuba dives over the past 30 years, exploring waters from Papua New Guinea to Maldives. His wife, Lydia Read, took a slightly different approach to the sport.
“I got certified as a scuba diver, and then I never did it again,” she said, and laughed. “I wanted to prove I could do it, but then I said, ‘That’s enough for me.’ I have a good time while he’s gone.”
Dan recently returned from a weeklong diving trip off the coast of southern Belize, his fifth visit to the country and the latest in a long list of underwater adventures. Next up is a December trip to the Maldives with the couple’s daughter, Rachel, an expert scuba diver who trained as a marine biologist.
For Dan and Lydia, retirement hasn’t meant stepping back from the world. Quite the opposite: They have deliberately created a life that allows them to keep exploring it.
The Best of Both Worlds
About two years ago, Lydia and Dan moved to a garden home at The Osborn, while continuing to spend part of each year at their home just east of Tel Aviv. They travel, visit Rachel and their other daughter, Adina, pursue their individual interests, cook together, participate in programs on campus and enjoy an active social life. And, they chose to make their move to Sterling Park at The Osborn in their early 70s, while they were healthy, independent and fully able to decide for themselves what they wanted their next chapter to be.
For Dan, the decision was driven by two considerations – one practical and one deeply personal. “We were, thank God, young and healthy,” he said. “But you never know what the future will bring. I wanted, if something unexpected happened to me, for Lydia to be settled in a place where she could get whatever care was needed.”
There was another requirement: Dan wasn’t ready for apartment living. The availability of a garden home offered the best of both worlds – a private residence without the responsibilities that traditionally come with homeownership. Grounds maintenance, home repairs and snow removal are handled for them.
Lydia welcomed the idea for another reason. The couple has moved “many, many, many times” over the course of their marriage, she said, and she liked knowing this move could be their last.
“I was really happy to move and just know, this is the final move,” Lydia said. “We’ve got the house, and we intend to stay in the house.”
And should their needs change, she finds comfort in knowing additional support is available within the same community. “If one of us needs to move into assisted living, that’s a possibility, too,” Lydia said. “Or if we need rehab, or memory care, there are all sorts of services available at The Osborn.”
‘There’s So Much Happening Here!’
Lydia and Dan’s sense of security hasn’t meant sacrificing the independence they enjoy. “This is independent living,” Dan said. “We have our own house, we have a beautiful kitchen. We cook a lot here. Lydia and I like to cook, and we cook together a lot since I retired.”
One favorite is turkey chili, which they make in quantities large enough to keep several containers in the freezer for easy dinners. Other nights, they dine with friends on campus or take a quick drive to restaurants in Rye, Greenwich and the surrounding communities.
In fact, one of the biggest changes since moving has been what they’ve gained: community.
Before the pandemic, Dan said, he and Lydia had close friends and also a much wider circle of people in the United States and Israel with whom they regularly shared meals and socialized. Covid changed that. “After Covid, we still had our close friends and a lot of friends, but our broad community got very small,” he said. “Here, we again have a large community with whom we share meals and engage in activities. It’s really nice.”
Lydia agreed. “The residents and staff are so gracious, and so generous, and so kind,” she said. “That’s the culture here – kindness. People act with kindness and compassion and generosity toward each other.”
She participates in a women’s group that brings residents together for presentations and discussion, and both she and Dan regularly attend “News and Views,” a Monday program focused on current topics.
“The activities are great,” Lydia said. “And the people here are interesting. They’ve all got their activities and their interests.”
Dan has added a few of his own interests to the mix. After retiring from J.P. Morgan “for the second time,” he spent 10 years earning a Ph.D. in philosophy. More recently, he has given presentations to fellow residents on topics ranging from Israeli elections to the surprising demand for philosophy majors in the age of artificial intelligence.
Now, he is starting a philosophy reading group. Scheduling the first gathering presented an unexpected challenge. “It was hard to find a date,” Dan said. “There’s so much happening here!”
Still, there’s time for personal choices. For Dan, that’s exploring some of the world’s most extraordinary waters. He recalled one dive in the Maldives when he and Rachel encountered a whale shark and spent 15 or 20 minutes swimming alongside the enormous but gentle creature.
Lydia is content to leave that part of retirement to him.
Dan joked that one reason he wanted Lydia settled at The Osborn was in case “a shark eats me while I’m scuba diving.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Lydia replied.
That easy exchange reflects a couple comfortable both together and apart, each pursuing what interests them while sharing a life they’ve shaped for the years ahead.
To learn more, explore Independent Living at The Osborn.