If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

No matter what the generation, there will always be darkness; always be the light in the darkness.

How do you define a life well lived?

For me, a life well lived is one in which attention is paid to those in the margins. As my husband was dying, I had the help at home from the Visiting Nurse Association hospice team. I was so impressed with what they did, how they did it and how they helped the whole family through the dying process that I asked to take their training and work as a volunteer. They asked that I wait for six months before beginning and I did. I then completed hospice training and began to work as a volunteer at Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan. Bellevue is a public hospital and receives the most abject, most abandoned patients often estranged from family and totally alone. I simply sat with those who were dying. We were allowed only two-hour shifts because of the stress involved. I was on my own as I sat beside someone. No matter what point in the process of dying, I was assured that this person could hear me as hearing is the last sense to leave. I read children's stories, sang songs, spoke a psalm from the Bible, read the weather report for the day, told them they were bathed and clean and that each person's hair had been washed by the nurses.

I also served in the Chaplaincy services at Memorial Sloan Kettering and helped to begin an art program there. I learned from the patients what was really comforting. Sometimes it was not the words but holding someone's hands in mine that was comforting to them. Each person is so different that I learned to learn from them what would be helpful rather than follow a set of rules.

What are you most proud of in your life?

Here are two things of which I am proud. I married a widower with six children. I learned immediately that they had had no help in grieving the death of their mother and, before her, the sudden death of one of their siblings at the age of 12. I taught myself to be a stepmother and even though I had the image of wicked stepmothers from fairy tales, I am confident I figured out how to be a good stepmother, always respecting their biological mother and helping them to find ways to remember her. This included cooking huge meals for teenagers whose ability to consume food was a revelation! Fortunately, I could cook.

The second thing I am proud of is that after I saw a plea for people to agree to try various vaccines for Covid, I volunteered at NYU Langone for trials. One signs many documents before this begins, including that if you die, neither the hospital nor the vaccine maker can be sued! I was a bit scared by the thought that this could kill me, but I did it and though I became quite sick, I did not die.

What has been your greatest joy or most fulfilling experience?

One of my great joys has been watching the growth of this wonderful family of which I became a part. There are now 18 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.

The other great joy is opening the world of art, particularly watercolor painting, to anyone who is interested. To see the delight and the work produced makes me love teaching even more. Just give someone the correct tool and a few pointers and a new world can open.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

Whenever I could throughout my adult life, I have been involved in volunteer service, which mostly involves teaching drawing or painting. A great happiness blooms in me when I see someone coming to his or her own by making something they never knew they could. Opening a new world to someone is one of the best things one can make out of life. This, to me, is part of what makes a life well lived.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

I would encourage individuals to become strong physically, intellectually and spiritually to meet life's many challenges.

How do you define a life well lived?

Develop strong relationships with family, friends, colleagues and community. Do the kind of work that contributes to the world in some positive way.

What is a challenge you've overcome that helped shape who you are today?

Through spirituality (Buddhism) I was able to overcome poverty, racism and ignorance. College was unknown in my home but, through hard work and persistence, I was able to attend a conservatory and study with classical bassists from the Detroit Symphony, which shaped my career in New York and the world. I was able to move from a Western music modality to an Eastern one.

What are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of fathering four children who became productive adults. I toured Africa, played with the Monterey and Montreal Jazz Festivals and with famous musicians, performing at six different California universities, culminating in a tour of 14 countries in West Africa, the Middle East and North Africa.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

Through my musical talent and spiritual devotion, I have been able to connect with others in communities throughout the U.S. and the world. I have had the privilege of connecting with many different groups of people who share my values and interests. I created Safari East, a not-for-profit organization that brings music and culture to underrepresented groups in schools, nursing homes, public parks, and festivals throughout the United States.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Take advantage of your chances to learn—in high school and college. Be open to new information, ideas and skills. Keep a balance in life—work hard, find love and family, and be an active part of your community.

How do you define a life well lived?

A life well lived means service. I am fortunate to have gone to good schools in Great Neck, Long Island, and to have studied at Harvard and explored the world of ideas. I studied economics at the college and graduate level, worked at the student newspaper, the Crimson, was elected to the class government and received a fellowship to study at Kings College, Cambridge, which allowed me to live and travel abroad. I am proud to have served in the U.S. Army, and regret the U.S. no longer requires national military service. (This is easy for me to say because those of us born in 1936 did our military service in peacetime.) I am grateful to have had a loving wife and family, with offspring who have found their own paths to a meaningful life. And I have worked in challenging jobs in companies that provide important information and service: The New York Times, the Bond Buyer and F.W. Dodge construction information. I was also chairman of the Information Industry Association, a trade association formed in 1968 by The New York Times, IBM, Dow Jones, McGraw Hill, Dunn & Bradstreet, and the Congressional Information Service.

And a life well lived includes serving one's community—the Board of Education, village advisory committees, the Neighborhood Association, Library Boards and even coaching kids' teams.

What are you most proud of in your life?

I am proud (and lucky) to have had a chance to help steer the changes in distributing news and information as we entered the computer era, first at The New York Times Co. of which l was a Vice President as it adapted new technologies to gather, distribute and archive news. Also, at the F.W. Dodge division of McGraw Hill, the nation's leading construction information service, directing a nationwide staff of reporters managing distribution in print and electronic form, and directing the efforts of an outside contractor (the Perot Co.) in automating the entire process of input and output for thousands of customers.

I am proud to have served on the Visitors' Committee to the Harvard Libraries which, like all libraries, is adapting to new technologies to use with its unrivaled book collection. I also am proud to have served my local community as a member of and then president of the Scarsdale Board of Education.

In Rye, I am proud to have served on the Boat Basin Commission and, as its chair, secured the analysis and recommendations that led to the successful dredge of the Marina. I now serve on the City's Traffic and Pedestrian Safety Committee. And, at The Osborn I have served my community within the Rye community as President of the Resident Association, working to enhance our sense of community through our mutual activities.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

I see my U.S. Army services as a start in giving back. And ever since I have been working full-time, I see paying my taxes as an annual way of giving back—of supporting education and other essential services and doing my part in supporting American government. As treasurer of the PTA or campaign chair of the local United Way, or chair of the village Environmental Advisory Committee, or president of the Board of Education or treasurer for the campaign for a State Assemblyman, I have served my communities and so given back. But it does not feel like "giving back"—it feels more like participating, joining in the effort to make a community of which we can all be proud.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

"The sum of the matter, when all has been said and done: 'Revere God and observe His commandments! For this applies to all mankind."

Ecclesiastes 12:14

Another word of advice, this time not from the Bible, but from me: We are never too old nor too weak to reinvent ourselves. Stretch and you will find that your abilities will carry you further than you could ever have imagined.

How do you define a life well lived?

I can't, so I don't. I would never presume to tell anyone else how they can live their life. I can say that I have tried to live my life as well as I could by learning from wise people who are willing to teach me. But, ultimately, I have found that I must follow the direction of my own internal compass. What I have learned during my time here on Earth is that there is a time for everything under the sun and I have been tanned by that sun again and again.

What is a challenge you've overcome that helped shape who you are today?

Early in my life, I was consumed with the desire to be someone who would be envied by my peers. So, I sought recognition and personal success. In addition to the love of family, I sought the respect of the people I encountered in my profession and beyond. Later in life, I realized the emptiness of this endeavor and turned inward, seeking to replace public adulation with self-respect. I am a work, still-in-progress, but I know I am now heading in a better direction.

What are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of the accomplishments of my children and grandchildren. They are all living lives of purpose and meaning. Also, I take pride in the accomplishments of those who have been my students, both in the practice of law and in my rabbinate.

What has been your greatest joy or most fulfilling experience?

I truly love being a resource for the people who seek me out for spiritual or religious assistance. And even more, I love being able to be my wife's best friend.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

After deciding to devote my remaining years to my rabbinate, I have spent most of my time supporting the institutions that have been my religious home. That includes synagogue and my seminary. I also contribute to the spiritual and religious life at The Osborn, wherever and whenever I can.

What does community mean to you, and what makes Rye a place you're proud to be part of?

I have only lived in Rye (at The Osborn) for two years but have found it to be a warm and welcoming community. (That goes for Harrison and Mamaroneck as well). The Osborn community is now our home and, without exception, everyone there, the residents and the staff, have proven to be wonderful companions and friends.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Joy! You make your own happiness but you have to find your own joy.

How do you define a life well lived?

Finding contentment. My life is filled with family, jobs I have loved and the U.S. Marine Corps. I have worked at places such as the Federal Trade Commission, which was so satisfying. And now I have my Jack Russell Terrier, Sweet Pea, who has been the mascot of The Osborn for the past 12 years.

What is a challenge you've overcome that helped shape who you are today?

When I was a kid, I was very shy. I was an only child from a generally smaller family, but joining the Marine Corps changed everything for me. Advertising also helped me because I was able to tap into my creativity.

What are you most proud of in your life?

That's easy—my time in the Marine Corps, my family and what I accomplished in my career after the Marine Corps.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

The Marine Corps shaped my life and the man I became. I attended an all-boys grammar school, high school and college. I was in Brooklyn until I was 21 and didn't even learn to drive until I was 23 and in the Marines. It gave me the foundation for the rest of my life.

What does community mean to you, and what makes Rye a place you're proud to be part of?

Rye doesn't have "attitude" that other places I've lived had. People are "open." I have lived in many places and my wife and I felt comfortable from the beginning when we moved to The Osborn.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Be alert and persistent, and persevere. Know yourself and know what best suits your purpose.

How do you define a life well lived?

A career you love, and a circle of friends with whom you share your life.

What are you most proud of in your life?

Working with young people and keeping in contact with them for years.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

A constant theme has been service of both a personal will and group nature.

What does community mean to you, and what makes Rye a place you're proud to be part of?

Rye permits me to be myself and encourages all my beliefs.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Be kind to others and to those who grow old, for kindness is dearer and more precious than gold!

How do you define a life well lived?

A life well lived is a life filled with laughter, loving family, close friends and a sense of purpose. Finding joy in the present moment, trusting in the Almighty and contributing with humility to something larger than myself.

What are you most proud of in your life?

Personally, raising and educating six strong women who are kind and loving and always there for each other. Professionally, enjoying a successful career as a psychologist for 38 years.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

Service to my community gave me the opportunity to use my God-given talents to enrich the lives of others.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Nurture patience and a sense of humor—these assets have contributed heavily to our 67 years of marriage and will go a long way to making your life and that of others better!

How do you define a life well lived?

Staying true to oneself and doing things to make the lives of others better in large and small ways. Looking not only at the present, but into the future, with regard to the effects of today's actions. Rejecting selfishness, prejudice, anger and cruelty. Living by the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." Never lie or self-aggrandize, even when tempted mightily, no matter what is at stake.

What has been your greatest joy or most fulfilling experience?

It has involved not only nurturing our own two wonderful and accomplished children and their children, but being part of an extended family all over the country that loves and respects one another and loves getting together, albeit never frequently enough.

What does community mean to you, and what makes Rye a place you're proud to be part of?

We are fortunate to live in Rye, which is full of honorable, decent people with whom we enjoy interacting as much as possible. We, along with others, enjoy participating in and have served on the boards of such worthwhile activities as the Rye Arts Center, Rye Nature Center, Rye Historical Society and SPRYE.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Have an open mind, listen well and don't take yourself too seriously.

How do you define a life well lived?

A life well lived is one where you can look back and say, "I wasn't afraid to try." Sometimes, success is the outcome; at other times, failure is the result. Most often, we end up somewhere in-between.

What are you most proud of in your life?

I'm proud of my family and the role I played in nurturing, guiding and helping them during those early years. I'm proud of accepting my current parental role: Be supportive and never offer unsolicited advice. I'm proud of the years I spent teaching, of the courses and laboratory experiments I designed and of the years I spent working with students on projects, events and clubs that were not related to the classroom, and the years helping faculty become more comfortable with technology: learning computer skills and the basics of online instruction.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

From early childhood, much to my mother's frustration, I loved helping my friends even if that meant giving up something that I would have liked to do for myself. Over the years, that sense of satisfaction, of being able to help others, has remained and translated into many volunteer activities. I am fortunate, here at The Osborn, to be able to volunteer in various ways unique to this facility and still continue, as before, assisting others (now our residents) with their technology issues and walking dogs at a local animal shelter.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

The one piece of wisdom I would share is what I advised my own children: Follow your dreams—whatever gives your life purpose.

What is a challenge you've overcome that helped shape who you are today?

The greatest challenge, so far, was to regain my life after a devastating automobile accident in 2003. I was airlifted to the Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla, following a crash on Route 22. I was in the hospital and then in rehab for 40 days. I had broken nearly every bone on my left side. I am a violist and my goal was to play my instrument once again. It took many weeks of work in physical therapy at Burke, but I succeeded.

What has been your greatest joy or most fulfilling experience?

A most fulfilling experience happened in 1976. I went to see my nephew in a production of "Fiddler on the Roof" performed by the Scarsdale Summer Theatre. I lived in Larchmont. Why couldn't we have a program like that for youngsters in our community? I proposed the idea to the tri-municipalities of Larchmont, Mamaroneck Village and Town, and was given the OK to create such a program, which we called the Larchmont Mamaroneck Summer Musical Theatre. And so, for 17 summers, we rehearsed for six weeks to present to the community fine productions of Broadway musicals, starting with "Oklahoma". The program was open to everyone of high school and college age. No one was turned away who wanted to participate. The enthusiasm and commitment of these youngsters, every evening, was most rewarding. We performed at the Emelin Theatre. That was a fulfilling experience.

Also, in the 1990s, I was a Suzuki violin teacher at the Rye Arts Center.

What does community mean to you, and what makes Rye a place you're proud to be part of?

When I moved to The Osborn in 2003, I volunteered at the Rye High School for their cable TV programs, as I had done at Mamaroneck High School, LMC-TV. I videotaped activities at the Rye Nature Center to be telecast by Rye Cable TV where I was taught how to edit my video, advised that I could do that at home, on my own computer. I now interview people here at The Osborn to be telecast on our closed-circuit TV station called "Meet Our Neighbors". I have produced a program every month for the past 15 years—about 100 by now. This program is my contribution to helping us know more about one another in our Osborn community.

I still volunteer at the Rye Nature Center, have participated as a Reading Buddy at the Rye Free Reading Room and with Rye High School students in our "Meet A Grand Friend" program. I have performed several times with my string quartet here at The Osborn. I sew crib-sized quilts for the Linus Project and knit items, which are donated to My Sister's Place.

If you could share one piece of wisdom with future generations, what would it be?

Recognize the difference between words and actions for which one may be embarrassed, and for which one would be ashamed.

How do you define a life well lived?

In personal relationships, that one has given better than one may have received. In social or professional occupations, that one has honored any commitment to the best of one's capacity.

What are you most proud of in your life?

I have had what is best described as "luck" in having had unusual professional opportunities allowing several accomplishments of which I am unabashedly proud. One is having established the first functioning computer data bank in the fine arts. It continues to grow (that is, add data), and to serve a scholarly community. Directly, or indirectly, it has been a model—or at least an encouragement—for the creation of data sources in other academic fields. Another object of pride is having compiled and published the comprehensive record of the work of a prominent American artist of the 19th century.

In my personal life, I am grateful for, and a little proud of, a marriage in which neither partner dominated the other and each valued the contribution—and company—of the other for the whole 43 years it lasted.

What role has service or giving back played in your life?

I do give support—both in personal attention and financial substance—in individual circumstances as I may encounter them.

However, I choose to interpret the question as asking for my recognition of the service and "giving back" I have received in my long life. I have always been keenly aware of, and grateful for, individual acts of thoughtfulness and generosity that have specifically influenced my life's progress for good. I could itemize them by name of giver, date, action—and do so regularly in thought—but the list is too long to be accommodated here!